How to be Confident?

Confidence is actually a built in trait that is often diminished by how the world around us. Smiling and Posture are two of the many different ways that a person can become confident.

Ever get that feeling like you can’t do something because you are not good enough for it? Or you fear that there are somethings you cannot do because you don’t know how? Do you have trouble speaking to strangers or talking in front of crowds? If you suffer from any of these symptoms, you suffer from lack of confidence. For some people it seems like confidence comes easy, they don’t have a problem talking to random people or even giving a speech in front of thousands of people.

You no longer have to simply envy these people, you can be one of them. All you need a little patience and a lot of practice. Confidence is said to be something that we are born with – when you were born, you bawled your eyes out and you didn’t care who was present there. You simply did what you wanted to. This confidence starts wavering when we start growing and learning when people tell us what we can and cannot do. For many, constantly having people judge you results in losing confidence in ourselves.

Here are a few ways that you can work on bringing back your confidence:

Fake Confidence

Many people have gained confidence because they have pretended to be people who are confident. It is scientifically proven that if you force your body to do something, your brain will also react in a similar manner. For example, if you put a huge smile on your face for a couple of minutes, your body will send signals to the brain and you will actually feel happy. Similarly, if you pretend that you are a confident person, you will actually feel more confident.


A prominent aspect of feeling confident is looking confident. If your posture is bad – where your shoulders hunch and you are bent forward – you will feel less confident. However, if your posture is good – where your shoulders are straight and your body is not hunched – you will feel like a winner. When you look like a winner, you will feel like a winner. This is why it is important to maintain a good posture.


The easiest way to gain confidence is to smile at everyone. The more you smile, the more approachable you seem and easier to talk to. Smiling also helps people warm up to you faster and they feel like they can confide in you. This can help you talk to people better.


Many times people don’t feel confident because they have gaps in their knowledge. Not everyone knows everything, so you learn as you need it. If lack of knowledge about something is causing you to lose confidence, then fill that gap and learn things that you think you need in order to feel more confident. Remember, the more skills you learn the more confident you will feel.

Think Confidence

If you do not think that you are confident, you will have a very hard time being confident. Think that you can do this, you can walk up to a person and say hello. If you set it in your mind that you can do this, you can actually do it. You can also give yourself pep talks and encouragement, which can help you achieve the level of confidence you want.

Overcome Obstacles

Think of all the things that is keeping you from being confident. Now take a piece of paper and write them down, no matter how trivial. Now ask yourself why is that an obstacle and if it is a huge obstacle that cannot be overcome? Most common response would be that the obstacles are something that can be overcome. So, set your mind to overcoming these obstacles and it should help you gain confidence.

Don’t Think

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t think at all before you speak, but instead don’t over think things. The moment you start over thinking things, you tend to psych yourself out. Think about what you want to say, repeat it a few times in your mind and then say it. Sometimes it is best not to think about what may happen or what can happen and just let it happen.

Talk to Strangers

The best way to gain confidence is to talk to random strangers. For many people talking to strangers is less stressful than talking to people you may know. Strangers are people you may never see again, so even if you make a fool of yourself it doesn’t really matter. Hence, practice boosting your confidence by talking to as many strangers as you can.


The best way to master anything is to practice. Similarly, the best to gain confidence is to practice. Keep practicing – in front of a mirror, with your friends, with strangers, etc.

Get Professional Help

Sometimes lack of confidence can come from deep rooted causes that cannot be overcome by using simple methods. For people such as these, seeking professional help can often be a good idea. Therapists can usually help you find the underlying causes of why you lack confidence and can help you overcome it. These work best for problems that come from serious situations such as abuse.

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